Monday, January 28, 2008
Surfin' Safari
Yesterday I returned to scene of the crime (Trigg) for a surf with some mates. Pretty good surf; small to middling with a few good waves. Highlight was watching some dude going nicely across a wave, and then suddenly pulling up because out of nowhere (I kid you not) came a baby lying on a surfboard, straight out of the wave.
Now, I can only assume the kid was a very young-looking toddler, and his father/mother/other had pushed him into the wave from a now obscured spot. I will also assume his baby bonnet was a sunhat of some description, though it looked a hell of a lot like a baby bonnet.
Anyway, the baby surfed into shore where he was greeted by someone who might have been his mother/aunty/a complete stranger.
Alternatively, he might have been washed all the way from Jeffries Bay in South Africa in a strong rip, and his distraught parents are, to this day, searching the beach for their baby.
This is the version I choose to believe.
Now, I can only assume the kid was a very young-looking toddler, and his father/mother/other had pushed him into the wave from a now obscured spot. I will also assume his baby bonnet was a sunhat of some description, though it looked a hell of a lot like a baby bonnet.
Anyway, the baby surfed into shore where he was greeted by someone who might have been his mother/aunty/a complete stranger.
Alternatively, he might have been washed all the way from Jeffries Bay in South Africa in a strong rip, and his distraught parents are, to this day, searching the beach for their baby.
This is the version I choose to believe.
Hooray for Australia Day
Spent Australia Day (or the afternoon and evening thereof) at Perth's Trigg Beach. When we arrived some drunken imbecile had fallen out of a Norfolk Island pine tree and his friends had clustered around him, poking his prone body with a stick (well, not really, but they might as well have). By the time we got close enough to render assistance he was moving so there wasn't much more that could be done until an ambulance turned up and took the unfortunate wretch away. His friends then got stuck back into the heavy drinking. Awesome!
This pretty much set the tone for the rest of the day, which was spent dodging footballs, tennis balls, dogs, and avoiding fights and pools of vomit.
God bless Austria, and please may I emigrate to the Cocos Islands now, they sound quite nice.
This pretty much set the tone for the rest of the day, which was spent dodging footballs, tennis balls, dogs, and avoiding fights and pools of vomit.
God bless Austria, and please may I emigrate to the Cocos Islands now, they sound quite nice.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
The Good Old Days
A letter in today's Perth daily, The West Australian:
"Twenty-five years ago and you could take your kids to the beach and let them run around in the nick or you could buy a family nudist magazine from the local newsagent off the shelf and no one accused you of being a child sex offender.
Or you could go into the city to the X-club and watch X-rated movies on the big screen and then a stripper would come on, or you could go to the $2 peepshows in Northbridge and watch live, dancing nude girls, or they had topless barmaids on at the local hotel, or even hire an X-rated movie from the local video shop.
That was until the do-gooders took over the country and banned it all. Now we have people with spy cameras in their shoes spying up girls' skirts, or spy cameras in the bathroom or toilet spying on women and children, or downloading child nudity off the internet, or they have a hidden stash of illegal X-rated movies from the ACT, or taking secret photos with their phone camera."
Quite! I, too, remember the days when you could take a trolley car into town, have a slap-up meal, buy a bongo mag, take in a show, and still get change out of a shilling.
And then the do-gooders banned it all! Damn them all to hell. Hangings too good for them, I tell you.
"Twenty-five years ago and you could take your kids to the beach and let them run around in the nick or you could buy a family nudist magazine from the local newsagent off the shelf and no one accused you of being a child sex offender.
Or you could go into the city to the X-club and watch X-rated movies on the big screen and then a stripper would come on, or you could go to the $2 peepshows in Northbridge and watch live, dancing nude girls, or they had topless barmaids on at the local hotel, or even hire an X-rated movie from the local video shop.
That was until the do-gooders took over the country and banned it all. Now we have people with spy cameras in their shoes spying up girls' skirts, or spy cameras in the bathroom or toilet spying on women and children, or downloading child nudity off the internet, or they have a hidden stash of illegal X-rated movies from the ACT, or taking secret photos with their phone camera."
Quite! I, too, remember the days when you could take a trolley car into town, have a slap-up meal, buy a bongo mag, take in a show, and still get change out of a shilling.
And then the do-gooders banned it all! Damn them all to hell. Hangings too good for them, I tell you.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Grumpy Old Man
Apparently this is post 100! Very good.
Anyway, I'm on holiday for a week on child minding duties, and the day before yesterday we went to the beach. Lots of schoolies were there, and a number of girls appeared to have written their mobile numbers on the small of their back with sunscreen. Assuming it was their own number and not someone else's, I did wonder if this was wise - 2008! The summer of the relentlessly phoning pervert! - until I remembered that beaches are generally the last place you'd expect to find a pervert.
Anyway, it was a fun day, even if I did suffer the awful tragedy of my hat blowing off into the water. The humanity!
Anyway, I'm on holiday for a week on child minding duties, and the day before yesterday we went to the beach. Lots of schoolies were there, and a number of girls appeared to have written their mobile numbers on the small of their back with sunscreen. Assuming it was their own number and not someone else's, I did wonder if this was wise - 2008! The summer of the relentlessly phoning pervert! - until I remembered that beaches are generally the last place you'd expect to find a pervert.
Anyway, it was a fun day, even if I did suffer the awful tragedy of my hat blowing off into the water. The humanity!
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Happy New Year!
Yes, Happy New Year. What for 2008? I'm going to teach my kids how to mix a proper cocktail, that's for sure. Their efforts throughout 2007 were, frankly, abysmal, particularly the younger one. I've complained to her grade 1 teacher about this, and for my troubles I get threatening phone calls from Family Services.
