Thursday, April 20, 2006
Harbourtown: a Town of Many ... Harbours
Spent some of last weekend at Harbourtown, a conglomerate of factory outlet thingies ... I'm not sure of the proper generic term (after all, what retailer isn't a factory outlet of sorts?) but hopefully you know what I mean. Your one-stop shop for lurid orange XXXL Ralph Lauren shirts at $29.99 and so forth.
Anyway, this place has food outlets as well. LOTS of food outlets. And unlike all the other shops, their wares are nothing out of the ordinary, and are all normally priced. Surely it's not too much to ask that they, too, should be part of the Harbourtown experience? Should not the food have something wrong with it, and be slightly discounted? For example, could Croissant Express not sell gigantic or ridiculously small muffins, perhaps next to BLT rolls with no T and twice as much B as normal? All washed down with lashings of Coca Cola made with no sugar (or conversely, five times the normal amount of sugar)? All generously discounted by 20%?
You know it makes sense.
Anyway, this place has food outlets as well. LOTS of food outlets. And unlike all the other shops, their wares are nothing out of the ordinary, and are all normally priced. Surely it's not too much to ask that they, too, should be part of the Harbourtown experience? Should not the food have something wrong with it, and be slightly discounted? For example, could Croissant Express not sell gigantic or ridiculously small muffins, perhaps next to BLT rolls with no T and twice as much B as normal? All washed down with lashings of Coca Cola made with no sugar (or conversely, five times the normal amount of sugar)? All generously discounted by 20%?
You know it makes sense.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
WAR!
A while back, we advertised for some new employees. To prepare for the wave of bright young things, our department took the step of buying two new desks, two new chairs, and two new laptops. To cut a long story short, the successful applicants have knocked us back in disgust after not getting a solid job offer for over two months after the interviews. So the chairs, desks, and laptops sit unused.
Anyway, today I helped myself to one of the chairs. They belong to no one, they have never been used, and they are comfy and do not squeak (unlike my old one).
To cut a short story even shorter, total pandemonium has broken out. Strongly worded emails concerning "theft" and "unprofessional conduct" have been flung about wildly, and there have been loud arguments in the corridor between section heads! The department is being rent asunder! It is WAR, my friends!
I wonder how sane people would resolve the issue? I would give the chair back, but to whom, precisely? Also, it is comfy.
Ah; I kid, I'll put it back. But let them sweat for a while. What brinkmanship! The Cuban missile crisis pales by comparison.
Anyway, today I helped myself to one of the chairs. They belong to no one, they have never been used, and they are comfy and do not squeak (unlike my old one).
To cut a short story even shorter, total pandemonium has broken out. Strongly worded emails concerning "theft" and "unprofessional conduct" have been flung about wildly, and there have been loud arguments in the corridor between section heads! The department is being rent asunder! It is WAR, my friends!
I wonder how sane people would resolve the issue? I would give the chair back, but to whom, precisely? Also, it is comfy.
Ah; I kid, I'll put it back. But let them sweat for a while. What brinkmanship! The Cuban missile crisis pales by comparison.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Pro Hart, Bushman of the Bush
Artist Pro Hart died recently, and his funeral was covered on the ABC news tonight. He did a lot of his work in the bush, probably, because he was referred to as "the brushman of the bush". Or at least, that's what he was meant to have been called. I'm pretty sure news-reading chick Alicia Gorey (or whatever her name is) mis-read the prompt, because it sounded as if she called him "the bushman of the bush". Which, although it seems a bit of a "duh" thing to say, is fair enough; I defy anyone to point out the faulty logic in that statement.
For some reason it reminded me of the time I heard someone relating a story about how they'd seen one of those steel orb things that people ride motorbikes around in, which had been thoughtfully dubbed "The Death-Defying Sphere of Death".
They were probably lying but why spoil a good story with the truth, as my mate Trev would say.
UPDATE 6/4/06: Edited for very slightly improved clarity.
For some reason it reminded me of the time I heard someone relating a story about how they'd seen one of those steel orb things that people ride motorbikes around in, which had been thoughtfully dubbed "The Death-Defying Sphere of Death".
They were probably lying but why spoil a good story with the truth, as my mate Trev would say.
UPDATE 6/4/06: Edited for very slightly improved clarity.
