Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Get a Horse
Every morning on the way to work I pass a big billboard. At the moment it’s advertising a new Range Rover, which has been photographed to make it look like a rocket, accompanied by a caption which says “buy this and you will ascend to GOD-LIKE STATUS” or somesuch.
Surely with petrol prices the way they are it would be almost as cheap to buy a horse as a four wheel drive. So why not do it? If you’re the sort of person who likes to stand out from the plebs, see above the rest of the traffic, and (in cases of dire emergency) actually go off road once in a while, a horse makes very good sense! Admittedly you’ll get wet when it rains, but the advantages far outweigh this minor inconvenience!
Why, imagine if you saw a fox on the way to work … a fullsome blast on your trumpet to rally the hounds, and you’re off in pursuit of the wily beast! You can’t really do that in a four wheel drive. Nor could you travel to work in a full suit of armour, carrying a sword and shield. Kiss those road-rage hassles goodbye; one mighty swing of Excalibur and yon varlet lies on the ground, cleaved in twain. That will make the rapscallion think twice about stealing your parking spot, forsooth.
Surely with petrol prices the way they are it would be almost as cheap to buy a horse as a four wheel drive. So why not do it? If you’re the sort of person who likes to stand out from the plebs, see above the rest of the traffic, and (in cases of dire emergency) actually go off road once in a while, a horse makes very good sense! Admittedly you’ll get wet when it rains, but the advantages far outweigh this minor inconvenience!
Why, imagine if you saw a fox on the way to work … a fullsome blast on your trumpet to rally the hounds, and you’re off in pursuit of the wily beast! You can’t really do that in a four wheel drive. Nor could you travel to work in a full suit of armour, carrying a sword and shield. Kiss those road-rage hassles goodbye; one mighty swing of Excalibur and yon varlet lies on the ground, cleaved in twain. That will make the rapscallion think twice about stealing your parking spot, forsooth.
