Beggars' Choice

The local TV guide lists tonight's rugby league match as "Gold Coast Titans v Many Sea Eagles".

Evidently Manly couldn't make it. Nevertheless, it promises to be a fascinating spectacle. A bunch of titans versus not one, not two, but many sea eagles! It will be just like The Birds. I hope some fat dude walks across the ground at some point accompanied by bassoon music in a homage to the great Hitchcock.

I notice my compatriot Blandwagon has an interesting post referring to an idea raised by Australian blogger Tim Blair about how compassionate people tilt their head to one side or sometimes backwards. An interesting thesis. But, I hear you asking, perhaps, what about the cold-hearted, selfish, or just downright evil? Might the opposite effect apply - might they tilt their heads forwards? I say yes. Here's an exhaustive survey which I think supports my point:

Went to a Craft and Antiques Fair the other weekend. It’s a biannual event held at the Claremont Showgrounds and has been running for quite a few years now, although I notice it’s actually now called a Craft, Antiques, and Collectibles Fair - this would explain the large number of McDonald’s giveaway toys that were on sale, which are neither crafty nor antiquey. Not really collectible either, some might say, and quite rightly too.

Highlight was picking up a Poole totem-pattern freeform bowl made in the 1950’s by Ruth Pavely. All this doesn't mean that much to me, but my wife is red-hot on these things and spotted it amongst the detritus as one might spot Wally on one of his amazing adventures, and snapped it up. Nice work!

Also worthy of comment were two books I found; The Clown Said No! and Watch Out, Jar Jar! (from the Read, You Will! series of Star Wars books for kiddies).

I naturally assumed the first book was about a clown getting pestered for sex and quickly started thumbing through it, but instead it turned out to be about a clown who is tired of being laughed at (who was his careers advisor?) and quits the circus, followed by a bunch of animals. He sets up a new, nurturing, circus which is friendly and supportive, with the centrepiece act the clown lulling a donkey to sleep with his piano accordion or something. Upshot: people will gladly fork over hundreds of dollars to look at a kipping donkey. NOTE TO SELF: incorporate sleeping donkey into all future business plans.



The Jar Jar book features one of the most, ahem, “beloved” animated characters of all time in a seemingly never-ending cavalcade of hi-jinx. Thought you couldn’t hate Jar Jar more than you already do? Think again. It’s thoroughly depressing, but it did provide my first encounter with super-awesome jedi knight Yarael Poof: anyone who can make it with that name and with a neck that long in a room full of people with lightsabres is OK by me.

This will have a profound impact on the world, mark my words. And not just for International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Like most people I'm sure, I find the whole thing very bewildering. Also, it is taking place at such a grand scale I find I just can't get as worried about it as I feel I should, like the part of my brain that worries about things is being overloaded to such an extent it's switching off. Or at least focussing on more mundane matters, like what do you call this:

0.25%


I used to think it was called zero point two five percent although apparently it can also be called point two-five of a percent, point two-five of a percentage point, or twenty five basis points. I like "basis points" best, it has a dramatic ring to it.

Christmasandnewyear is over, and for some reason the principle undying memory is accidentally watching about 5 minutes of the Edinburgh Military Tattoo on TV. Now, three salient points from this unhappy episode:

1. It was extremely boring.
2. I used to love watching it as a kid, ergo:
3. We used to put up with some stupefyingly dull TV in my youth. Case in point: Pot Black. Pot Black was a show about snooker. In fact, it WAS snooker; two blokes from the League of Nations Snooker Premier League (from England! Steve Davis! From Australia! Eddie Charlton! From the darkest, wildest Borneo, Umblatta the Terrifying! Etc) would square off against each other for half an hour, while the commentator "Whispering" Ted Lowe, would state the bleeding obvious, non-stop, sotto voce. Week after week. And we lapped it up for some reason.

Also Mastermind, where a camera would slowly zoom in on someone sitting in an uncomfortable chair, not being able to answer questions about the first ten Roman emperors.

We are off to New Zealand today for a little while. Everyone I have have spoken to about this mentions "fush and chups" or waxes lyrically about the Lord of the Rings. No! Whilst I respect their viewpoints entirely, there is but one thing to see in new Zealand, and that is the mighty Toothbrush Fence:ie a string of over fifty toothbrushes tied to a wire fence in Te Pahu, New Zealand by local nutter Laird McGillicuddy Graeme Cairns (although if my eyes don't deceive me, Mr Cairns appears to be taking a few liberties with some of his "toothbrushes").

Unfortunately Te Pahu is in the North Island and we will be restricted to the South, so I have no idea how we will spend our time.

UPDATE. We ended up splitting our time between the Mt Cook region and Dunedin and had a fantastic time. I should point out that while we missed out on the toothbrush fence, we did speak to a guy in Geraldine who had reconstructed the Bayeux Tapestry out of broken knitting machine parts. AND added his own ending to boot. What a genius! Take note, toothbrush fence loser.

I got a new road bike a couple of months ago. What to say; they go very fast and are rather unstable. Also if you forget to take your feet out of the cleats when you stop, you fall over.

1. Why don't Americans do better at shooting?
2. Cycling events should include unicycles.
3. Channel 7's commentators are imbeciles.

That is all.