Beggars' Choice

On Saturday our hockey team played in our division’s first semi-final. At one stage my opponent was a rather abrasive fellow who spent a significant part of the game mocking my teammates’ appearance, eg their lack of hair, shabby uniforms, excessive weight, wooden limbs etc. Now all this is perfectly understandable – I often feel like doing it myself – but the unfortunate thing was he looked (and dressed) very much like 70’s fitness guru, the late Richard Simmons*. This left me feeling not so much angered, but more honoured and humbled because I felt I had
actually been participating in some grand anthropological experiment. For the record, they won 3-2 but really there were no losers. Except our team obviously, because we lost.

*I’m assuming Simmons is dead; I really wouldn’t know and nor can I be bothered to check.